A few years
ago, I picked up cycling to exercise and get out more. It's been amazing. I've
really enjoyed distance cycling traveling far and wide on my bike. It’s given
me peaceful time to think. I've learned a lot of lessons on my bike -- some of
them about cycling, but most of them about Christ. When I got
on my bike, it had been many years since I last rode one. I didn't think much
past pedaling and getting used to it again. I was sore, confused at the best
way to handle some roads, and not well balanced but it didn't take long before
it all felt natural. It reminded me of watching investigators in Armenia after baptism
-- starting off a little unsure, finding some things are easier to get used to
than others, eventually finding serenity and joy.
My new bike
also came with features that were new to me: It used levers pushed sideways
from the handles to switch gears that were much easier to use than the twist
handles from my teenage years. The clank and crunch of moving into a new gear
felt odd at first but learning to lower and raise my gears properly as I sped
up and slowed down greatly enhanced my experience. This reminded me of service
in the church, where giving myself over to a calling or assignment made church
more intense and involved, like moving to a higher gear, but gave me greater
fulfillment and satisfaction as a result.
For a long time,
I just enjoyed my new commute. Eventually I wanted to bike long distances in
different parts of the world. I began to train for touring on my bike, going on
longer and longer rides until I could travel dozens of miles in a day. My training
went well but I did not realize I was missing something very important. Most of
the areas in and around Buffalo where I biked are very flat. The slopes are
gentle and the hills are short. I would sometimes shift down a few gears to make
the cycling easier during a tough stretch but never into the lowest gears. It
didn’t seem necessary.
Eventually I
went on my first touring trip to Prince Edward Island. My brother and I were
cycling from one end of the island to another. Not very long or extremely
challenging, but I was looking forward to the multiday trip.
On the very
first day there were very heavy winds, but I would not be stopped. I had trained
in heavy winds. Later in the day there was heavy rain, but I would not be
stopped. I had trained in heavy rain. On the next day, however, there were
hills.
These
rolling hills were steeper and much longer than what I had gotten used to on my
rides. The slope was not extreme but they took a while to get over and I grew tired
quickly. My legs ached so badly that I didn't think I could take it. I did what
every cyclist says to never, ever do on a tough climb:
I got off my
bike.
I began walking
my bike up the hill, and I realized very quickly the many good reasons I was
cycling and not walking! Instead of the wind whipping around me and cooling me
down, the sun beat relentlessly on my face. Instead of flying along to my destination,
each step presented so little progress! When cycling, the bugs couldn't keep up
with me, but trodding up the hill I was now easy prey.
Life had been
better on the bike.
My brother
rode up beside me and looked at me walking my bike up the hill. He looked down
at my gears. He shook his head and said "Why did you get off your bike?
You're not even in your lowest gear?" He was right. There were gears on my
bike so low I'd never used them. I’d never had to. I would just shift to my
lowest back gear and never touch my front one.
In my pride,
I dismissed his criticism and waved him off.
The hills
that day were miserable, and I was a worse cyclist for it.
As the world
continues to struggle with a pandemic that drags on, it isn't the first or last
long, hard hill that the world collectively and we individually will have to
climb. There may be longer and steeper ones ahead. How will we handle them?
When our faith is tried and our spiritual muscles ache, it becomes very
tempting to get off our bike. In the hard moment, we become convinced that
stepping away from our hard effort will give us relief. It’s tempting to think
that not attending Sunday service, not serving in our calling, not ministering
to others, not reading the scriptures or giving ourselves over to prayer
regularly, will give us relief when we feel overwhelmed with the world around
us.
But it will
not.
The sudden
instance of losing responsibilities may seem like a relief at first, but very
quickly the sun beats down, the bugs catch up, and our personal progress slows
to a crawl. In losing the struggle we lost the joy of the whipping wind and the
road melting away behind us. We realize too late and deny in our pride the
truth: It is never better to get off our bike.
Then, what to
do? When our muscles ache and we can't continue? When it's all too much? We can’t
pedal one more stroke. We're simply too tired to keep it up.
There are
lower gears. I learned that I’d gone so long without using them, I’d
forgotten they were there or wasn’t familiar or comfortable switching to them.
In lower
gears, it’s easier to push the pedals. We may go a little slower during a
challenging stretch, but critically it allows us to not get off our bike!
What are the
'lower gears' of the gospel in challenging times? It can mean leaning on
counselors and helpers in our callings. It can mean sharing with our spiritual
leaders the challenges we're facing. It can mean increasing, not decreasing,
the time we spend in the scriptures and prayer even when that time is hard to
find. It can mean reaching out to priesthood holders for a blessing of comfort.
If you're not sure what it can mean to you, it can mean talking it over with
your bishop to figure it out.
Yes, we need
to preserve our own light to share with others, self-care matters, but
ironically focusing too much on preserving our light over sharing it is what
causes it to dim. We are forewarned: 'The first will be last and the last will
be first.'
The Master
taught this exact thing, to double down on the good work for relief: "Come
unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take
my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye
shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is
light." Matt 11:28-30
The next day
on my biking trip, I swallowed my pride and dug down to my lowest gears. It
made a world of difference and, most importantly, it kept me on my bike. I'm
grateful for the chance I had to learn the ironic lesson. I could not give up
the struggle, I too badly needed the blessings of the effort. We all do.
Doing the work in whatever capacity we can handle
it, even a reduced capacity, is infinitely better than stepping away from the
work entirely. Don’t get off the bike.
Hey Taylor, I stumbled across this post last week at a time when I really needed to hear it. Thank you! I always enjoy reading things that you've written.
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